Creating Waves of Awareness
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The Health Inn for Monday July 30, 2012
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As a follow up to last week with Andrea Basilio, we would like to take a closer look at loss, grief and recovery. As we know by now, each person responds in his or her own way to life's stresses. However, as part of the family of man, we can predict a commonality in basic responses. And, through investigation, gathering of evidence, surveys, studies and tabulation of data we can learn a great deal.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler set down the stages of grieving, detailing the five major emotions toward recovery that ends in acceptance. WIth further examination of their work, we find that they don't want us to pigeon hole everyone into these categories, nor to limit everyone into the five basic emotions of Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.
Homeopaths have so much to offer the world, since we listen on a case-by-case basis to the expressions of each person, making sure we jot down and notice their exact wording and way of talking.
You might think that Elisabeth would have listed "shock" as the first stage. Instead, she calls "denial" number one. For homeopaths, our resourceful remedies express the keynotes and individualities of a blow to the psyche, like being hit by an instrument, or stunned or numb and unfeeling. This trauma runs deep and can be long lasting. The body may tremble, shake, collapse in prostration, or have a nervous breakdown. Andrea stated for her, it was like non-existence. Others might call it a black hole.
Startling easily, we might be expressing small shocks to the system, with extreme sensitivity to noise, light, the sound of a voice or a person walking into the room.
In a more frightening shock from the trauma of losing a loved one, we may feel horrified and unsettled to the point of disgust or feeling nauseated and loss of appetite.
Even though Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler provided a great turning point in our discussion and awareness of how human's cope with death, we would like to review a number of major homeopathic remedies that can move us through these difficult times and more smoothly bring us back into the world of the living.
It will be interesting to see if the homeopathic remedies also have a significant effect upon denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Not everyone will go through every one of these stages or in any particular order.
This program was planned prior to the Aurora, Colorado massacre.
Here are reflections of people in honor of those murdered.
We dedicate this program to those innocents who died.
Stage 1 - Denial
Equivalent to a sudden shock and the sensation of numbness and confusion about living in this world, the denial mechanism tells us this can't be real. Sometimes you will hear a person say, "It's like a dream." Or, "I feel like this person is still here." We slowly let go of a life as the soul leaves the material world.
Now as you pass through this stage, you move closer to acceptance of reality.
Stage 2 - Anger
Many of us have been taught anger is not acceptable, like a dirty word. The sages tell us anger as an emotion is like a small death, because we have lost our mind and gone crazy. But, to be and have anger is human. Anger can be vented toward anyone, anything and even God. Thus, the rubric of feeling "forsaken" will be expressed at this time. Why did God leave me and abandon us at this time?
The deep hurt and pain becomes anger and rage, which may be suppressed or shown in physical form. We may even be angry at the person who died! Why did they leave me? Whatever the circumstance, the life history and the tendencies of the person will help form their expressions. Closely tied to anger, love and hate, black and white will clash and help us find an appropriate remedy to calm these emotions.
Step 3 - Bargaining
I don't know whether Elisabeth meant for this bargaining stage to be equivalent to praying, but we can slip into this behavior of getting close to God. It may even be our minds figuring out how the death and loss could have happened or be spared as our mind negotiates other scenarios.
And, if we could possibly think this loss was caused by our actions, then a wave of guilt will sweep over us. Maybe we should have made one more phone call, or said, "I love you" one more time, or done something that would have interceded the death sentence.
People will make all kinds of vows or promises in order to save themselves or to have wished to save another person.
Stage 4 - Depression
In this stage, we can feel that void of emptiness. What is there to live for without this person? What is the meaning and purpose of life? Life is so short and temporary? The existential questions emerge.
People who feel depressed say it is the worst pain of all. Like a living hell, depression seems to last forever with no way out. We must state here, everyone feels this depression after a loss and grief. We label depression as a mental illness only when a person stuck in this stage never emerges into the light of day. They stay in the gloom and dark emptiness. They cannot participate in the activities which they normally love. That state of living in a fog or a cloud can be expected for a while.
Stage 5 - Acceptance
Acceptance means returning to reality, emerging from walking in a cloud with life passing by, acknowledging that the loved one has left this earth permanently. The memory of this person remains, and the person who is left must carry on, returning to normal activities in mind, body and spirit. In a way, the person is reborn from that state of death back to life. This process takes time and each person has their own timeline.
Each person is unique in their evolution.
Ricky Skaggs The Peace Song Lyrics
Now peace begins on earth,
And let it begin with me
Now peace begins on earth
The peace that was meant to be.
With God as our power
United all are we
Let us walk with each other
In perfect harmony.
Yes, peace begins with me
Yes, this is the moment now!
With every step I take
Let this be my solemn vow.
To take each moment and live each moment
In peace eternally
Yes, there is peace on earth,
And yes, it begins with me...
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Andrea Basilio spoke July 21, 2012 about repeating a non-stop mantra to bring joy back into your life and take responsibility for everything that happens to you. And, the song "let it begin with me" kept running through my mind. If each person works on self, believes they can improve, makes every effort to treat others kindly and with honor and respect, then we can surely make a better world.
And, if someone lives with grief, pain and suffering, we show compassion. At this time words cannot be spoken. In the immediacy of loss, we recognize the person's state of numbness and shock. A hug, a handshake, a touch, a bow or nod may be all you can summon. Some religions have guidelines and ritual prayers. If the person grieving signals to speak, you might say:
Emergency Remedy Kits from HomeopathyWorld
A remedy kit at home will be very handy in any emergency, including emotional situations.
While we know that time heals all wounds, it does not help to say these words when living in the moment of grief. Sadness, emptiness, gloom are healthy natural responses to loss.
"All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward." ~ Ellen Glasgow
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~ Anatole France
Mark your calendar
Right on! Great article. Thanks, Deb.