Creating Waves of Awareness
I did face a lot of symptoms during my provings in a span of 3 days it went to 110 symptoms, details of the proving and what were the symptoms will update later. But now I'll take you to the state when there was a lot of symptoms like fear, superstitious, death, anxiety and panic etc.
During this phase it would be difficult to control only with medicines so after suffering a lot I kept noting in my diary about different factors by which I felt better. and these were the only methods I felt a temporary diversion from the sickness. though it took over 6 months to recover and I had to find methods by management only to my daily symptoms.
Suffering from OCD is the worst drug proving experience I have ever had a span of over night symptoms for over 6th months till full recovery and over 500 pages of daily symptoms
its like a dead road with seriously no turing back. fear and panic in each work, secondly if there is no fear there is always a second mind prompting you to a thought leading to a fear.
For example, all these years I could eat any thing without any fear, but all this fear is related to the body getting ill again, so these fears are more of the self. Like if I eat a apple which has a small brown spot there would be no thought during that phase, but the moment I see the brown spot and take a bite also no thought; but the moment it goes inside the mouth and I swallow it there is the thought that comes in the mind its like a second thought keeping on talking you driving you crazy.
The second thought after the swallowing would be, " now you have eaten that apple and there is a brown spot. Won't it cause some harm to your stomach? It will cause indigestion and then ill health, " then I try to convince the mind that I had taken like this before and no harm and again the mind would prompt. " Ok but what if you did not wash it properly? Like that thought after thought would keep coming and anxiety and panic would start and the only way to feel better is to walk about restlessly.
Thoughts like this would keep coming in any work done even when patients are taken after the patient goes a thought would come. " What if the patient's symptoms gets worse? Even during case taking the symptoms which the patients says the mind rethinks and prompts, "what if you get those symptoms? What will you do? How will you manage?" Its just thoughts coming in and in and can't stop.
Even watching tv was difficult. A little news on health or some fear or some one been in harm I had to change the channel as the thoughts keep repeating what if it happens to you?
Before when I used to see such patients I used to wonder can people be like that? But after experiencing the symptoms - yes.
Many other symptoms were washing hands frequently due to fear of getting infected, but this fear grows and grows to like if that extent in day to day life like if I need to travel after 1 month I would be more involved in thoughts of how will the travel be will I get suffocation what if I get ill, what if ---- happens to me ?
Like that thought and thoughts continuously and seriously these thoughts just can't stop at all. Getting up in the middle of the night and with fresh thoughts again thoughts of anxiety would start.
This has been a day to day routine with the help of Homeopathic medicines (will give in detail later) was feeling better, but the question is every 5 - 15 minutes a panic attack and palpitation frequently life is become hell, with fear in each step and fear of death.
I tried to real a lot of material for anxiety management but during that phase nothing much helped then I started monitoring very closely in a day what are the times I feel better and what are the times I feel worse and what factors make me feel better and applied those factors to at least be happy for some time.
The factors where I felt better.
1) Doing some creative work where I forget time and space like a hobby - like electronics, or painting, or photography but when the mind is free again the same cycle stars but at least I was free for 2-3 hrs . reading did not help has mind always got diverted. all the hobbies were more of some creative thought flowing in a chain of more new thoughts like say design a room in the mind think of the color , curtains the paint etc. something where new neurons are made.
2) When going out with friends or company it was just 10% better but doing mischief and being naughty was a 100% better ( the reason I found out was there is a hormone secreted during that time which make you happy. 2-3 hrs would pass by with no problems,
3) When I scolded some one or when went into fits of anger I used to feel much better for many hours ( reason it some how overlaps that fear with a stronger hormone) but we cannot advise this to our patients to show anger.
4) During a panic attack physically walking in a room up and down for 5 mts helped.( don't know the reason but when a panic attack starts I could not sit in one place it just drives me out of the room and walk about for few mts .
5) Lascivious thought would also calm down the anxiety.
6) In each fear we need to teach the brain back to believe that it did not get ill again ( as after many days even taking a medicine a thought would come that it will harm the body) so each fear has to be rethought that ok food is taken nothing happened so its ok to take that food.
7) Thoughts of superstitious in each day that grows more like if I know of a superstition like a cat crossing the path would cause ill luck the full day would be in the mind and if by change something happens on the day the superstition would grow stronger that it was due to the cat. (now in this case luckily nothing used to happen in the day so at the next day need to convince the mind that the cat crossed and nothing happen) it takes time to do al this and remove the fears.
There are few more will recollect and write soon. I used to wish if there was a good remedy that I would just forget all this but there is no easy way to come out of this.
After experiencing only I could treat many patients easily and I could narrate many of the symptoms which the patient suffered before hand itself its because I had felt the pain and suffering. And as treatment took time I could suggest all the possible ways to let them manage when such thoughts come.
I hope this article would be helpful to my fellow Doctors.
Dr Gopal I Patel